my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
