Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize