it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
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Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize