you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
