If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
