some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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