i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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