What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
