Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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