party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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