and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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