We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
