Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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