it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize