the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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