No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
