It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
