i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
