Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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