we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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