you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
