so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
