Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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