I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
