so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize