Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
