i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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