sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize