I feel like I'm in dance class right now
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
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Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
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Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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