You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
