Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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