yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
