I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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