it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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