saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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