super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
