strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
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I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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