I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
