you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
