It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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