The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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