Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
