when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
