So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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