You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
