i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
