i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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