I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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