Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
