So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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