So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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