I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
