people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
