I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
