You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
