currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
