What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
