I'm passing your future prison.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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