If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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