Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
