Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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