I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
